know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
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Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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