we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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