and you said cock pushups were impossible
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
