I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
