i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
