i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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