Your mouth is God's brothel.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I want to fling myself into the sun
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
