I cockslap morals
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
