So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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