so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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