I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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