I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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