We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
