Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize