Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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