People in love make me want to vomit
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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