I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
