I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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