How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
