just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
