Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
