My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My life is pants optional.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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