Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
