Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
