Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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