naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
