You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
