32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
