her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
