well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
