What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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