Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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