wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
They have beer where we have blood.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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