I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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