Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
