she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he fucked my hip out of place.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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