3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
