You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
