she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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