we're blogging at a bar
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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