You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
