To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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