'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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