just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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