meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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