I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sober January is a disaster.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize