Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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