Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
