I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
