I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
