she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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