She said her name was "party"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize