Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
