the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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