Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
