how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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