I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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