I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
