i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
